Amidst the craziness of the holidays, the crazy weather, the lack of sleep, and juggling a toddler and a newborn along with never ending household demands -- everyday for at least 30 minutes I get to have one of these quiet moments with my little Blair Bear, and in these moments, I feel like I know what heaven must feel like.
I don't think there is anything in the world that can compare to these quiet moments together, holding this 7.5 pound person against my chest and rocking back and forth until she nods off against me and begins to purr as she reaches her deep sleep. She is peaceful, she is angelic, and she is miraculous, and I feel like I could sit and rock and just look at her here in these moments forever. And every so often, her little lips will break open into a momentary smile, and I wonder if she's dreaming of me.
It is in these moments that I feel pure contentment, forgetting the 'to-dos' - they can wait. Forgetting the frustration of my post partum body - my body grew this for 9 months, we were once one, and her little heart was once beating inside of me. I forget all worry about the future because I know and and am physically holding what truly matters in life.
These moments are filled with a peace I don't remember feeling before, a love I didn't know I was capable of, and with awe and wonder I can only thank God for.
8 weeks old now, and the time has truly escaped me. I can feel her getting stronger and stronger, and although I'm proud of her growing strength and agility, it is a constant reminder that this time is fleeting and she won't be this precious innocent infant forever. I inhale her sweet baby scent and I gently rub the softest skin that I have ever felt. I kiss her sweet little cheeks and the top of her head over and over and over, and I hold her tight against me. I hold onto these moments with all the strength in my heart and mind and do everything I can to engrain them in my memory forever.