Moving On


Moving On

There's a lot of happening around here and it's all happening way too fast. The biggest change right now is that we handed in our written notice, signed, sealed & delivered, that we will not be renewing our lease at the end of next month.

We knew that we would be moving out of here now for several months now but we've been having an awful time trying to find a new place to live. Our deadline to let our leasing office know for certain if we were renewing/not renewing was 2 days ago. I finally walked in there yesterday afternoon and asked once more how much more a 3 bedroom would be, or what we'd have to pay if we renewed our place for another 6 months. (Both options are totally out of the question). I handed in our form and thanked them for a really great, all too-fast, 2 1/2 years, that we are really going to miss it and we've had so many amazing memories here. "I know," she said, "I can remember the day you came back home with Lelya from the hospital for the first time like it was yesterday." That sent me over the edge. Tears welled up in my eyes and I couldn't stop them from falling.

The realization that we're leaving really hit me hard. I don't want to say goodbye to this little apartment that we've spent the first 2 years of Lelya's life in. I'm not ready to leave behind the little tub she took her first bath in, the beautiful harbor outside Lelya's window that I would spend hours memorizing as I rocked and fed her at four in the morning, or the living room we shared our First Christmas together in, huddled around our tree singing and dancing to Christmas music together.

Having to leave here is forcing me to realize that Lelya is growing up. Fast. For the first time, I know that my little baby really isn't a little baby anymore. It's breaking my heart that so many days slipped right between my fingers and there is nothing I can do to ever get them back. How did that happen?

I've always embraced change. But becoming a mom has changed that in me. Every single thing I touch, see, and hear, now turns into a cherished memory. And it's all happening way too fast. I am welcoming this new change, I know it will be better for our family in every regard. But I'm really going to miss this place, and all the beautiful memories it contained.

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